If you're anything like me, you were spending hours pinning your favorite dresses, the dreamiest venues and the most stunning decor to your wedding board on Pinterest before you were even officially engaged. (...Sound familiar? Yeah, I see that smirk on your face!!)
While that is sooooo much fun, I have a tip for you that will make planning a wedding even MORE fun and I PROMISE it will reduce stress for you! So for the sake of your sanity, get out a pen and some paper and do this exercise!!
Step One: If your fiancé is nearby, grab him a pen and ask him do this too! (If he isn't near you, definitely have him participate the next time that you see him!)
Step Two: Close your eyes..(okay, you don't ACTUALLY have to close your eyes...but if it helps to concentrate, read the rest of Step Two and then proceed to meditate, eyes closed.)
Without the aid of Pinterest shoving other people's brilliant ideas in your retinas, I want you to dream about your wedding day.
The first thing I want you to take note of in your mind is the season. What time of year is it? What is the weather like? Next, where are you? Are you inside or outside? What kind of scenery or architecture is surrounding you? Are you in an event venue or on the top of a mountain?
And maybe even more importantly, WHO is surrounding you? Who comes to your mind? Is it a small group of your closest friends and family or every single person you've ever shared a handshake with?
Step Three: Write down a few of your thoughts. These visions you just created from your very own heart should give you some clarity on a few SUPER important aspects of your day such as the time of year/wedding date, the type of venue you hope to use OR type of wedding you'd like to have (big commercial wedding vs intimate elopement) and the guest / attendance size. These answer the "when" and "where" questions that might be rolling around in your mind as you've begun to envision your day.
But the biggest vision I want to focus on, and the one that will be KEY in every single detail that you decide on for your wedding comes down to this one: your wedding day vibe. This will answer your "why" and the "how". Which, to be honest, I don't think many brides ever even give a thought to.
I want to take a good couple of minutes to talk about this last one. Because I think it all too often gets overlooked. We spend countless hours pinning pretty decor and don't take even a moment to dream about HOW we want to celebrate the biggest decision of our lives. Does an epic dance party sound like your cup of tea? Or do you envision your closest friends and family, surrounding you in love with their hands on your shoulders, praying over you before you walk down the isle to say "I do"? I have attended many absolutely beautiful unions that were so pretty to photograph, but really fell short in the emotional and personal aspect of what a wedding day (I think) should be all about. So many brides and grooms get caught up in the wedding day traditions that they have seen happen at every wedding they have ever attended, that they don't stop to think, "Is this meaningful for us? Do we actually have to do that?" Or "how can we incorporate that tradition in a way that IS meaningful for us and personal to us and our very special guests?"
If, at this point, you feel overwhelmed trying to think of just how you can make it more meaningful and personal, proceed to Step Four. :)
Step Four: Write down 3-5 words or emotions that you want to FEEL and that you want others to feel on your big day at your celebration of love and union.
And in every single plan that you make from this point forward, let those descriptive words be your guide!!
If someone you are close to really wants you to do a First Dance, but it makes your stomach churn just thinking about how a hundred distant relatives that you've never even met before will all be sitting around a bunch of sterile looking tables with plastic tablecloths, not even appreciating the moment as you awkwardly sway back and forth to some corny song, then don't feel the need to add any of those elements to your wedding day, no matter how many people try to convince you that they are necessary.
**Although someone may initially be disappointed in you not wanting to incorporate a tradition that means nothing to you, but apparently everything to them, try to explain to them that if you can successfully evoke the feelings that you have chosen to define your wedding day, your wedding will be more deeply meaningful to them as they have the chance to celebrate with you on your terms, in a way that is powerful to you and your new spouse. Just explain to them that every decision you are making regarding your wedding plans will revolve around the feelings that are most important to the two of you and invite them to attend with an open mind, and ready to feel the love!**
I invite you to not make a single plan because that is what everyone else has done at every wedding or reception that you've attended before.
I give you permission to step outside the box, and to make decisions that will create the most incredible, positive memories of your wedding day to look back on with a smile on your face, for the rest of your life.
For one more tip to make sure that decision making isn't super stressful, and so that you can stay grounded in the decisions that are the MOST important to you, proceed to step five. :)
Step Five: Write down your non-negotiables. A non-negotiable is something that is not up for discussion or change. A few examples: You've been dreaming since you were five that you'd wear the same gown that your mother got married in for your wedding. Or your fiancé insists that his father's miniature hereford cow be the ring bearer and since you are the definition of Bride-chilla, you are SO down with that.
I suggest making a small list (ie: 2-3) of these types of decisions that you aren't willing to budge on and then commit to them. Don't let anyone tell you no.
Do keep in mind the most important part of your day will be your new union. And remember to make your non-negotiable list based on your key words/emotions!
Now that you have a beautiful and powerful big picture plan for your wedding day, you may move forward with planning. Pinterest your little heart out. But always keep in mind those key words/emotions and non-negotiables before hitting that beautiful, red "pin" button! When you pin this thoughtfully, rather than pinning frivolously and having to sift through thousands of pins and boards to figure out "Now which of these pins were my favorite again?", you will soon begin to see a clear picture of inspiration emerge. And it will be SO you.
If you need another little nudge as to what comes next, check out the other most important thing to do before you make any firm decisions for your wedding day plans.
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